Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge or How to Successfully Survive a Trip to a SoCal Outlet Mall

This past weekend, a close friend and I braved the wilds of Banning, California to hit the outlets. She needed to find a few dresses for upcoming events and I, ever the humanitarian, graciously offered to join the quest. Though I am happy my friend and I were able to do our part in boosting the economy, I equate dealing with the crowd to a painful leg wax.

Below is a guide on how to survive a trip of your very own.

Arrive Early

Not only will you be able to start shopping before it hits 105 degrees, you are also hitting the stores before the main crowds. Enjoy the peace, just you and a few busloads of Asian tourist straight from the airport.

Bring Snacks

Yes, outlet malls have food courts. Yes, this means food is available. But, that is in theory. Sure, wait an hour in line at Panda Express. I’m just going to enjoy my protein bar while I snag the last pair of black peep toe Mary Jane’s from Nine West.

Wear a Simple Outfit

No ornamental scarves, boots, and/or layered tops. Trust me … you are going to be stripping down every 30 minutes and no matter what, the fitting rooms will somehow be at least 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the store. (On the same note, bring extra hair ties … really a life lesson)

Caffeine up!

No matter what your drink of choice is, drink up! You savor that grande iced Americano or mint green tea. Outlet shopping is a marathon not a sprint. How will you find the perfect skinny jeans if you are falling asleep after the first 50 stores?

Know what you need

Now … I will admit I never follow this rule but I do give it an honest try each time. If you don’t know what you are looking for you will somehow come home with a new Michael Kors purse, a ball gown from BCBG, and few Kate Spade Iphone cases. All fantastic purchases, none of which you need.

Well I take that back … a new purse is never a bad idea.

Best of luck, my fellow shoppers!

And if you can’t decide between two items … remember, YOLO!

Birthday Blues

As this is not only my inaugural blog post as well as my birthday, I thought I would write on how I feel about turning 25.

The first thought that popped into mind when I woke up this morning was the scene in “Never Been Kissed” when Drew Barrymore rips her prom queen tiara off her head and reveals she is not in fact a high school student but a reporter from the Chicago Sun Times … a 25 year old reporter.  Waking up to the daunting idea that I have now reached an age that made me gasp in 1999 wasn’t all too pleasing. But once I realized that I did not have any grey hairs, my boobs had not sagged, and my butt seemed to be in the same relative place I left yesterday, I decided to embrace 25 … and also to rent a car, because why the hell not!

In honor of being in a new age bracket (what’s up my fellow 25 to 34ers), below are two TV characters that, at 25, seem to have done it right.

    

            Rachel Karen Green – Season 2 – Friends

    What can’t be said about ever girl’s TV bff. Only Rachel K Green can make overalls and a sweatshirt look good. At the age of 25, we find Rachel adjusting to life in the city and finally landing Ross (and finding new ways to enjoy the Planetarium.) Well done, Rachel Green. Enjoy 25 in your impossibly large rent controlled apartment.

            Josephine Potter – Series Finale – Dawson’s Creek

      Though we only view Miss Joey Potter at 25 for two (heartbreaking) hours, I can’t help but be jealous of her life. She is an editor living in New York and her soul mate writes a TV show that is insanely popular about her teenage years. She also finally gets back together with Pacey. Reason alone to be jealous – being that close to Joshua Jackson

These two characters lead me to believe 25 is going to be awesome and that also I secretly harbor the desire to run away to New York.

At this point, I am not really sure what this blog will be about as a whole. I plan to write about what interests me … books, TV, movies, and the general asinine behavior of others. I’m sure as time goes on, I will discover what subjects I find interesting to write about as well as what people find interesting to read. Or I could always fall back on the family business of sheep farming on the island of Bali Bali.

Now I leave you all to enjoy my bottle of Rosé and some rufus reality TV.